A Letter to Wired

Dear Wired Magazine,

I was recently reading a back issue of your magazine, a regular authority on all things related to science and technology. It was to my dismay that I came upon an inaccurate technological statement. Although just an intro, the sentence claimed, “We will never know who would win in a fight between Optimus Prime and Darth Vader.” Really? Let’s just take a quick look at this.

Darth Vader is a man-sized cyborg. Optimus Prime is a building sized complete robot. I’d say Optimus takes the advantage here. Well then, some may argue that The Force could play a role in the battle. Hmmmm, the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, Yoda, uses the utmost of his powers to lift a standard T-65 X-Wing star fighter, a lightweight titanium alloy craft, from the swamps of Degoba. Sure the Dark Side of The Force is rumored as stronger, but no proof of the power to manipulate a large spacecraft (or robot) is ever provided.

The Lightsaber? Yes it can cut through thick slabs of metal, but it is a difficult and lengthy process. Optimus Prime is armed with a laser cannon, which is a far more sophisticated weapon system. If melee combat is necessary, Optimus also has an energon energy axe to wield, which would tower over Vader’s saber. An argument can be made that Luke Skywalker was able to bring down an entire AT-AT (Imperial Walker) using just a light saber and thermal detonator. However, you must consider that Skywalker is much more agile and flexible than his mechanized father. Also the AT-AT is a vehicle controlled by notoriously inept Imperial Storm Troopers. Optimus Prime is an autonomous being, possessing the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, a mystic talisman passed down through the ages, to help defend against such a rouse.

The contest is already a landslide in favor of Optimus Prime without bringing his trailer into the picture. The Combat Deck trailer is outfitted with a veritable battle station of artillery and beam weapons, which would render the great Sith Lord quite inadequate.

So Wired, in the Future please check your facts before printing erroneous statements in your magazine.

Sincerely,
Rory